Happy New Year
by HR always live on
Summary: Set post S10, but without Ruth's demise. Harry and Ruth meet on the roof of Thames House to celebrate the new year. They become fully honest with each other, discussing everything and everyone that has stood between them. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A tiny chapter to start, inspired by the fact I'm going up to London to see the New Years fireworks this year.**

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Ruth received a message on her phone and reluctantly tore her eyes away from her computer screen to read it. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was from Harry._ Meet me up on the roof. Please. H._

Ruth saved her report and locked the CCTV feeds from the London streets before getting her coat and heading up to the roof, as Harry had asked.

She opened the door and saw him looking over the city. Wishing she'd put her scarf on she walked closer to him and noticed several strange things. There were two chairs there, as well as several blankets and a table, on it a bottle of wine. Very confused she watched as he turned around to face her, an almost nervous smile on his face. "Thanks for coming."

"What is all this?" she asked.

"You were working Christmas," Harry said walking towards her. "So was I. We both deserve New Years eve off. I thought… you might like to watch the fireworks over London with me. Hoped, I should say. We should talk."

"Yes we should," she agreed. Very little had been spoken between them since Ilya and Sasha had left the country.

"You can leave," he said quietly. "I'm not going to force my company on you if you don't want it. But if nothing else you deserve New Years off."

"Its not like I have other plans," she said, her lips twitching. "What wine did you think would encourage me to spend time with you?"

"A prosecco," he said, feeling relief as he suddenly felt fairly confident she wasn't going to leave. Ruth sat down on a chair, smiling at him. Harry opened the bottle and poured two glasses. As he handed one to her their fingers brushed and both felt the tiny spark between them. Neither mentioned it as Harry sat down and they both looked up at the sky wondering where to start. This conversation would be important in their relationship, or lack of one and they both could sense that. But neither of them wished to break the silence and the temporary peace between them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the encouragement for the very short first part. This will be a three part story. I hope no one minds that I've changed George's character completely and Nico doesn't exist for the purposes of this fic.**

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After long minutes Ruth felt like she should be the first to break the silence. "Elena," she said quietly. He looked at her and their eyes caught, but she didn't look away from the intensity in his eyes as she usually did. "I fear, that you really cared for her," Ruth admitted. "That you loved her and it hurt you when she died." Harry was about to speak when he realised she hadn't finished. "I also… I have the feeling that when you mention her to me, you are only telling me what you think I want to hear."

For a moment both of them were brought back to the bunker when they all had to watch Ilya strangle his wife. As soon as she'd died things happened very quickly. Both Russian and American vehicles had appeared as if by magic, taking Sasha, Ilya and Harry away for questioning. The fact that the Russian party had been bundled onto a plane within twenty four hours spoke volumes about their guilt and Harry had managed with relative ease to blame Jim Coavers death on the Russians. It helped that it was what the CIA wanted to believe it as it meant the UK and Russian partnership had fallen apart with speed. Harry had spent less than two days in American custody before he was released a month ago. Neither had spoken of the Gavrik's since in anything more than general terms. It had been the elephant in the room so to speak, but Ruth knew she had to mention it.

"Elena is a very complicated subject," Harry started. "I don't like thinking of her or talking about her because it reminds me of my worst mistakes. I did care for her, and I did love her. Once, a long time ago. I'm sorry if this hurts you."

"I'd prefer the truth," she said honestly, taking a sip of wine.

Harry nodded. "I haven't felt that way for her for a long time. Decades. I was young and foolish. As for her death… I just feel it was completely unnecessary. I don't have sadness or grief for her. I don't even think I ever knew her. Just the parts of her character she chose to show me. She was a liar. An expert liar. Traitor and spy. How could I love her now I know what she is?"

"You might," she countered. Before she continued she reached for a blanket and wrapped it around her against the chill air. "After all you did once."

"What I found attractive at twenty five no longer interests me," Harry said honestly. "It did then. Not now. Now I'm only interested in you." He hadn't meant to say it true as it was, but he had. He looked at her, wondering if it would make her run. All she did was shift slightly and take another sip of wine.

"Don't say that if you don't mean it," she said.

"I don't lie to you," he said firmly. "Of course I mean it."

"Good," she said, a tiny smile on her face.

"Now I'm going to risk ruining the semi level ground we have," Harry said after the silence spread out between them, interrupted only be the crowds noise drifting up to them.

"Go on."

"George," Harry said simply. "We need to talk about him because we never have."

"No we haven't," she agreed. "It wasn't what you were thinking."

"You don't know what I thought," Harry said quietly.

"Yes I do, it was written all over your face," she said. "I never slept with him." There was a deep silence as Harry tried to take in that sentence. He found he couldn't comprehend it. After believing for so long that she'd moved on with another man this was difficult to take in.

"But…"

"I had no interest in another man," she said. "I… well… I only wanted you."

"What happened?" Harry asked, finding himself quite literally on the edge of his seat, wondering what she was going to tell him.

She sighed. "I went to Istanbul after a time drifting across Europe. If I hadn't been so frightened it would have been enjoyable, travelling across the continent. Anyway, I found work at a hospital in Istanbul. They needed someone who spoke English and I got lucky. So I settled down. It wasn't home but it was safe enough. I met George, and I can honestly say he was one of the best friends I've ever had in my life. We grew close." She smiled sadly, looking at her hands rather than Harry. "It didn't take me long to realise he was gay. It didn't matter to me, but he didn't want others to find out. Inevitably it started leaking out and he put in for a transfer to a small hospital in Cyprus. He didn't want his reputation damaged and Turkey is a Muslim country… so he wanted to leave the situation before it got out of hand."

"He owned a large house in Cyprus. He used it for the summer, but he wanted to move there permanently. He asked me to go with him. I'm not a fool, I knew it was for cover so that no one would suspect but I didn't care. And for one of the only times in my life I was impulsive and said yes. I have never regretted that. Cyprus was hot and calm and a million miles away from the hectic life I used to have in London. And now I'm living again," she added quietly. "I had a good eighteen months of a simple and calm life. Reading books in the hot sunshine by the pool. Going to the market. Simple pleasures. It was so easy. And when George died… I felt so guilty and… hurt from his loss. I couldn't talk about it because it hurt so much to lose my friend, but I knew from your face that you'd made your assumptions. I was a coward and I didn't correct you. I'm sorry. I should have."

"Yes you should have," he agreed quietly. "It would have saved me many sleepless nights, imagining you in the arms of another man."

"Did you picture it?" Ruth asked before she could stop herself. Then she blushed profusely, glad it was dark so her embarrassment couldn't be seen.

"Of course I did," he said swiftly. "Those first two or three months after you returned I could barely think of anything else." She was glad he was being honest but it heightened her feeling of cowardice. She should have told him that there never was anything physical or sexual between George and herself. "You're not just saying this are you?" he asked quietly interrupting her thoughts.

"No," she said. "The way you look at me at times… its more passionate than anything I've ever known. I didn't want an imitation, I wanted you." She kept looking at her hands and she didn't hear Harry move. So she jumped when his hand went to her shoulder.

"Sorry," he said, feeling sad that she didn't welcome his touch. "Ruth, why do you run from me? You say you want me… but you always seem slightly afraid of me. Why?"

Ruth sighed and Harry instinctively knew that he wasn't going to like what he was going to hear.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm not very happy with this chapter, but here goes! The final instalment. Thanks for reading and especially reviewing.**

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"I'm not afraid of you," she said. He watched her carefully, waiting for more his eyes glittering in the darkness at her. "Its hard to describe. When I'm around you I feel… something I never have before. Its as if my safety net has vanished. Because you make me feel emotions more intensely than I ever have in my life. I thought at first that it would pass. With time. Needless to say it didn't." Ruth sighed. "I suppose I'm saying that… I run from you because I'm scared of how I feel. I never thought I would love someone… the way I love you. I don't want to run Harry. I hate it about myself because I see how much my actions hurt you."

"They do," he agreed quietly. "Do you really… want me?"

"Yes," she said. "So much that I ache." If it hadn't been dark so she could hide her face, she'd never have admitted that to him.

Harry leaned over her and whispered in her ear. "Then the answer's simple. Take what you want." His voice was almost a purr and it made her melt inside. She turned to him, but in the darkness could make out only the shape of his face and the sparkling of his eyes. She stopped for a moment to think about the situation and let her irrational fear disappear. When she felt calm, or as calm as she was going to this close to Harry, she reached for him, her chilled fingers on his face, gently tracing his skin as he sighed under her touch. He let her do this without moving an inch, wanting to see where it would take them. Her thumb brushed over his lips softly and he let out a quick breath, the air rushing over her flesh.

"Harry, kiss me." He'd been half expecting it, but it still surprised him. He gently brushed his fingers through her hair before leaning over and setting his lips on hers. It was a brief, almost chaste kiss. If she wanted more, she had to be the one to make that step. It took all of his self control to back away from her so quickly when all he wanted was to kiss her for the rest of his life. Ruth stayed silent for a moment, wondering why he'd stopped so soon. She stood up, her fingers on her lips for a second.

"That wasn't a kiss Harry." She reached for him and his hands wrapped around her, pulling her close almost from instinct. Before she kissed him she sensed he was smiling. Their lips pressed against each other and Ruth flicked her tongue against his lips invitingly. Harry needed no further sign and he deepened the kiss, one of his hands tangling in her hair, pulling her close. The kiss was warm, delicious, sweet and so long awaited. It would have gone on much, much longer but they startled when they heard Big Ben start to chime twelve and a cheer from the crowds gathered on the street below. Harry laid his hand against Ruth's cheek as the clock kept chiming.

"Happy new year," he murmured to her.

"Mm," she agreed. Harry picked up their glasses and topped up the wine. When he handed her her glass, Big Ben had finished and fireworks appeared colouring the black sky. They turned to watch and Ruth felt her heart leap when Harry wrapped his arms around her waist as they looked at the show. When the spectacular fireworks subsided they were silent for a moment. Ruth clinked her glass against Harry's. "Here's to a great 2012."

"I hope we'll be standing together this time next year," Harry replied, a hint of a question in his voice.

"We will," she said, her face breaking into a smile. "After all, my new years resolution is to make us work. I'm tired of being lonely when all I want is you."

Harry smiled at her and pulled her close for another kiss. It was a long time before they parted, and when they left the building, they went home together.

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**Thanks for reading.**


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